The Spirit of Timidity: A Deterrent to the Gospel

It seems that wherever I go, whether it be FCC on Monday nights or Saturday nights at my buddy Cameron’s house for Men of Honor, the same topic of discussion will eventually arise: engaging with people. Tonight was no different. We had a great speaker come and offer some insight about not only using prayer to be thankful to God, but using prayer to be alert and watchful. Our speaker looked at Colossians chapter 4. In verse two, it says “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” In verse five, Paul writes “Walk in wisdom towards outsiders, making the best use of your time.” I personally found this very convicting.

Recently I have made a realization about myself. I am not all that brave of a person. I’m not referring to the bravery associated with battle or heroics. The bravery I’m thinking of could hardly even be called that, because it involves something completely pathetic and stupid. I just don’t engage with people. Now, I can chat up a storm with my friends, but when it comes to reaching out to strangers, I just don’t do it. And I know a lot of people, many of whom I have had encouraging conversations with, that do likewise. But why?

We were talking tonight and I mentioned that I went to ASU. The speaker said he was there recently and he noticed that everyone just walked around like they were dead; like everyone was on a track or something. And it’s totally true; everyone has their own routine and it’s just kind of common knowledge not to disrupt it. Sometimes I feel like it’s rude to even say “Hello” to someone or ask them how their day is going. I know for sure if I did the latter, the majority of my responses would be strange or questioning glances at best. It seems a lot of people are content just to be left alone. But I think that while it may seem that way, there are a lot of people out there that just need someone to talk to. Everyone has something that they are going through. How many conversations have I missed out on because I just won’t say “Hello” to someone? And why won’t I anyway?

I’ve really been thinking a lot about this. I used to be a really shy person. Not so much anymore, but I used to be a really quiet guy. Now, some may say that shyness is a personality trait, and that it’s an outcome of environmental factors or lack of socialization. I’d rather not get into the humanistic ‘psychological’ side of it (I’m always very wary of that kind of stuff), but rather I’d like to share some things that I’ve been thinking about and realizing.

I think that at a certain point, for me personally, my shyness can almost become a sin. As much as I’d like to blame it on ‘personality’, I’ve really realized that maybe I’ve been using that as an excuse just not to talk to people. I think that at a certain point, my shyness might be a rebellion against what God wants me to do with my life. And He’s really not asking a whole lot, both in perspective to what other believers in the world face, and what He did on the cross. I think that sometimes I can just care so much, too much, about what other people will think about me. I mean for goodness sake, sometimes I won’t say “Hello” to the person that sits down next to me on the bus, or in class, because for some reason walking around being sullen all the time is the cool thing to do and I don’t want to be that weird guy that actually cares enough about people to talk to them. But God hit with something last week that was just so convicting and it’s really driven me to reevaluate how I go about my days.

I thought about believers on other parts of the world, like in China, where Christians are hated and your faith could get you killed. Those people really do have something to fear about, and despite that fear, they continue to boldly live out their faith in the face of death every day. Here in America, I have absolutely nothing to be afraid of, and yet I refuse to share my faith or even engage with anyone in the face of maybe a weird look. Maybe. I’ve got to tell you, I started thinking about that last week, and that’s just pathetic. I mean completely shameful. I’m worried about what people think about me? What about the Christians in China? What would they think about me? What if they could see me, so timid, refusing to talk about Christ or even say hello to someone because I’m too wrapped up in my own self? They would probably not believe it. “Are you kidding me? We fear for our lives every day; what are you scared of?” I wonder if my stupid ‘fears’ might even insult them.

After God hit me with that, I really realized that something needed to change. And tonight was really what I needed to hear. Additionally, I really love 1 Timothy 1:7, which says “For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” This verse is what I use to push myself to step outside of my comfort zone, which in and of itself is ridiculous because how big of a deal is it to just talk to people? Yes, it has become abnormal to introduce yourself to a random person and start a conversation with them. But since when are we Christians supposed to be normal? I know that I’ve been guilty of being perfectly content with living a safe, normal life, but that is not the life that God has called his people to. We are supposed to be standing out so people can see something different about us, and then ask us what we’re all about. So what if we come across as a little weird? I’m betting that the majority of people will be nothing like we feared. People like to know that someone cares about them. People like to talk. Everyone is struggling with something in their life, everyone is stressed about something, and everyone is looking for a way out. Imagine what a simple conversation could lead to.

Sometimes I wonder how many opportunities I’ve missed out on over the years. How many people that needed someone to talk to was I not there for? How many other Christians has God had to call upon because I refused to answer the call? How many blessings have I missed out on? How many friends have I missed out on? I’m not sure if I’d want to know.

I’d rather look ahead.