Is This How "Adults" Act Now?

I recently saw a trailer for a movie called "Young Adult". For those who have not seen it yet, the main premise of the movie centers on a woman who, after getting divorced, returns to her hometown to try and rekindle a romance with her ex-boyfriend, who is now married with children.

If by now two red flags haven't gone up in your mind, you probably won't enjoy the rest of this writing.

After the final seconds of the trailer played, the only thought that entered my mind was, "Really? THIS is a movie?" This is not a movie review (I haven't seen it, and take a guess as to whether I will). This is a post about how acceptable is has become in this country of ours to break other people in order to live the life we want. I hear it everywhere: radio, TV and movies. Enrique Iglesias' profane song "Tonight I'm Lovin' You" is based around a man at a club who is trying to cheat on his girlfriend with a woman he's been lusting over. This movie "Young Adult" centers on a woman who has no problems potentially breaking a family to pieces in order to fulfill her selfish desires. It's this kind of media that makes me angry to the utmost degree. These are only two examples of a poisonous ideology that is deeply rooted in our culture: infidelity is something to joke about, something to brag about and perfectly acceptable as long as you're not caught.

If you're rolling your eyes right now, let's look at some statistics from 2006:

53% of American marriages end in divorce
In 41% of marriages, one or both spouses admitted to physical or emotional infidelity
36% of men and women admitted to having an affair with a co-worker or on a business trip
57% of men admitted to having an affair in any relationship they've been in; 53% of women admitted the same
The average length of an affair is 2 years
74% of men and 68% of women say they would have an affair if they knew they wouldn't be caught

The numbers don't lie; infidelity is a huge problem in America. As you can see, even without looking at the people that HAVE had affairs, almost 75% of men and 70% of women in America WOULD do it if they had the chance. But how could so many people think and act this way?

Unfaithfulness ultimately stems from a mindset of apathy towards other people's feelings and a prioritizing of yourself above all others. There is no denying that cheating affects the person cheated on. Even if they never find out, cheating on them will affect your relationship for the worse. These negative effects are never portrayed in movies or music though. Infidelity is viewed as edgy, exciting and something that can be good and enjoyable if you can get away with it. This mindset is pathetic and destructive.

In the trailer for the movie, the main character confronts her ex-boyfriend with her feelings. When he shockingly responds that he's married, her reply is, "So?" That right there sums up a general attitude towards marriage that it does not mean anything. That is another post altogether. The point is that the concept of commitment has been entirely lost in our culture and it is destroying our nation one person at at time.

Isn't "destroying" a strong word? Maybe, maybe not. If you've been waiting for the point of this writing, this may be it: infidelity is one of the best ways to damage a person emotionally, psychologically and even physically for years after the offense.

This is the fact that so many in our nation won't own up to. If you were to look them in they eyes and bring to light the people they've left broken in their wake of self-gratification, I doubt they could look back at you. When you cheat on someone, you are taking away the one person in the world they thought they could trust. Even if they don't have loving parents, even if they have no friends, when you are in a relationship with someone, there is an expectation that you care about them enough to respect their feelings and there is an expectation that they can trust you. When that person stabs you in the back, the implications can be severe. They can develop trust issues and future people, good people will pay prices they shouldn't have to because of an incident in the past. There is also an immense pain in being betrayed by the one person you thought you could trust. I hope that this is seeming like less and less of a joke.

I'll pause to address some positives. There is grace and forgiveness, as with any sin, for those that have fallen, repented and turned their ways around. 31% of marriages in which an affair has been discovered still last, a testament to the power of true love and forgiveness. No one is perfect and I'm not coming down on those who fall and get back up again.

I'm coming down on those who don't believe they have fallen. I'm coming down on the two-faced liars who can look at themselves in the mirror every day and see nothing wrong. I'm coming down on the ones who are perfectly alright with breaking hearts and causing pain if it means they get what they want. I'm coming down on the ones who made a commitment to someone and don't take it seriously. The ones who don't have the decency or the spine to break up with a significant other but instead keep them in their back pocket as a safe option while they live a double-life of backstabbing. It's wrong. It's selfish. I'm tired of the media making it trendy and fueling the epidemic. If someone makes a lifestyle out of trampling over other people eventually they will collapse and they will live life alone, unable to hurt other people. Make the choice to live with integrity, take the high road, and sacrifice for someone else.

Men, be true men. Love ONE woman for your entire life. Don't be a coward and buy into the lies of the media; find absolute happiness, pleasure and fulfillment in the woman that God set apart especially for you. Women, if you don't know what you want, figure it out and don't play games with people's hearts. If you aren't ready for a relationship or a commitment, don't enter into one. God has high standards for us when it comes to love. The marriage commitment here on Earth is mean to model God's relationship with his bride. God loves us perfectly, is always faithful and always does what's best for us. All I want is to see a nation that values what God values: family, trust, honor and true, self-sacrificing love. 

How Do Christians React To "Tolerance"?

Most of the readers probably noticed that the word "tolerance" as it appears in the title is in quotation marks, the reason being that while most people have a good sense of what the word means, it can be interpreted slightly differently. It's certainly a buzz word in today's culture and is preached to the masses more and more as America continues to grow more diverse in opinions, practices and ideologies. Before I continue, this is not me pretending to know the answer to the query presented in the title, nor do I assume that all my propositions are correct or sound. These are simply my thoughts on what I feel is something that all believers should think about; I've simply been thinking about it. 

Tolerance is defined in the dictionary as "a fair, objective and permissive attitude towards those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, ect., differ from one's own; freedom from bigotry; a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint". At face value, tolerance seems like a very good thing and the only right way to behave in society. When we think of intolerant people we think of Al-Qaieda and Westboro Baptist Church; people that genuinely hate others that are different, resorting to violence and terrorism to somehow prove a point and advance their ideology. However, it is not always these kind of people that are labeled as "intolerant". That is why I want to dissect the definition and also look at what our culture's expectations are with regards to the word. 

The first definition is pretty straightforward and really needs no further analysis. Note that your attitude must be fair, objective and permissive, objective meaning that you have a goal in mind that you are working towards attaining and permissive meaning that you must allow others to do what they want regardless of differing opinions or ideologies. The next definition simply states "freedom from bigotry". Bigotry is generally a very negative word and is used as a label for someone who is stiff-necked in their own beliefs. The dictionary definition of bigotry is essentially "intolerance of a differing creed, belief or opinion". This definition is circular but the point can be seen. Unfortunately the word bigot is very subjective because it could be applied to anyone from a terrorist to someone who simply won't compromise their beliefs. I find the last definiton to be the most interesting, however: "a liberal, undogmatic viewpoint". Here, being dogmatic is portrayed in a negative light. However, the definition of dogmatic is "charaterized by or given to the expression of opinions very strongly or positively as if they were facts". In our culture this is perceived as a bad thing, and at this time I will digress for a moment. 

Let me paint a picture of the country we live in. We live in an "I'm ok, you're ok" society. I'm not hurting you, you're not hurting me so let's just all get along. We also live in a culture that strongly dislikes the concept of truth. Having a belief and sticking to it is discouraged (only sometimes though, and I will digress again to come back to this). There is no right or wrong, there is only "you think" and "I think". Truth is bad. Truth is bigotry. Truth is intolerance. Unfotunately, this isn't a fantasty world; it's the real world. You can't create truth. Not matter what you think that truth happens to be, you can't create it. It is already there and you have to live your live around that, not the other way around. This kind of thinking is dogmatic and this kind of thinking is what's discouraged in America. Actually, truly living your life according to what you believe to be true is perceived to be ignorant, foolish and arrogant. Why? Because it's convenient for everybody to be right and nobody to be wrong. Without truth there is no right and wrong. If everyone creates their own reality and no one interferes with anyone else's we can all be happy. 

That is why being dogmatic is painted in a negative light. However, there is a double-standard in place that I will digress for a moment to address. There are certain groups in America that are allowed to be right and others that aren't. I will give a few examples. The ACLU is a group that preaches tolerance like nothing else but they only protect those they agree with. The differing opinions are painted as the "bad guy" and silenced. They said it best during the National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers: "We must change the climate overall from one where abortion providers are vilified and assualted to one where they are honored and upheld as the heroes they are". How is this tolerance? What about the people that oppose abortion. According to the ACLU, the whole country must change to accept this worldview. This is only one example of hypocrisy among the "tolerance" camp. Apparently, anyone who votes against gay marriage hates gay people. THAT is about the most ignorant and arrogant thing anyone could ever say, claiming to know the heart of someone else. I voted against gay marraige and I most certainly do NOT hate gay people. I love them like I love anyone else. I simply am living my life according to my beliefs, just as they are. But why are they allowed to and I'm not?This is my problem with tolerance today. I don't see it as what it's proclaimed to be. For many, the word is simply something to hide behind and make people feel guilty into siding with their opinion. This is one way to view what tolerance means. 

Here's the other view. Before I go any further, here is the worldview that I'm coming from. I believe that the Bible is the revealed and perfect word of God. That is my truth and that sets the standard and the stage for my life. I believe that it is the only truth. In our society, that makes me dogmatic, a bigot and, you guessed it, intolerant. 

How should I, a Christian, react to my culture's demands for tolerance? How should I behave towards others who believe different than me? Based on my beliefs, my behavior should have two main aspects present: the presence of love and the the unwavering of my beliefs. These two things can exist at the same time and this is what many people do not understand. You can disagree with someone and not hate them. 

Romans 12:18 says that "if possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all". Pretty straightforward. God's standard for his followers is that they are peacemakers and that they love all people, regardless of their differences. This behavior was demonstrated by Christ himself all throughout the Bible as a model for how we are to live. Romans 5:8 says that "while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us". That verse in itself sends a strong message of how while we were enemies of God, he chose to make us friends of his. That is the standard for all believers. We are to love our enemies, and if we are to love our enemies, how much more are we to love those who we simply disagree with? This is the presence of love in our lives. It is to be present in us every day towards every one that we come in contact with. 

Great! So that means that we agree with everyone and conform our beliefs to the world, right? Not exactly.

Scripture is clear on loving others but the main problem with God and man is that we both have different perceptions of what love means. In America, love implies the absence of conflict, at least in a general sense. If I refuse to change what I believe to fit your beliefs, there could be no way that I could have love for you. It's that "I'm ok, you're ok" mentality. Any sort of difference or conflict is viewed as hostility. Claiming to "know" something is arrogant and living in accordance to that knowledge is insensitive towards others. This brings me to the second aspect of my relationship with others: the unwavering of my beliefs. 

Note the clause at the start of Romans 12:18: "if possible, so far as it depends on you". This implies that sometimes, it will just not be possible to be at peace with some people. At least not possible by God's standards. It's possible to be at peace with just about anybody if you conform your worldview to theirs but the minute that happens, you've just disowned your own. God states in Romans 12:2 to "not be conformed to the image of the world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good, acceptable and perfect". This verse throws a wrench into the world's thinking. It implies that there are things that are NOT good, acceptable and perfect. It implies that there IS right and wrong. And most importantly, it makes a powerful statement to not change your beliefs to fit the worlds.

This is the difference between worldly and Godly tolerance. The world doesn't just ask you to be at peace with them, they demand that you say that they are right and you are wrong, or at the very least, agree that everyone is right and no one is wrong. God says to live in peace with men but to never compromise what you believe. The priorities are clear. Yes, peace among men is good but our culture has made it a god, throwing truth and anything certain out the window to acheive it. In my worldview, God is God and everything else works around that. I believe that we can respectfully agree to disagree and that is what tolerance means to me. But if you ask me to vote yes or no on something, I'm sticking to what I believe. There was a time when standing up for what you believe in was a good thing. In today's world, it still is, but only for certain people. Why can pro-choicers stand up for what they believe but pro-lifers can't? Why can those who want to change marriage stand up for what they believe but traiditionalists can't? Why can other religions have prevalence in the public square but Christians can't? Because tolerance in our world isn't tolerance at all. It's name-calling. "You're mean, you're a bigot, you're arrogant because you don't agree with me". Sorry. I live in the real world, not a fairytale. I'm not writing to advance an us-against-them mentality. You're missing my point completely if that's what you're gathering from all this. I will sum it all up in this last paragraph.

I have a lot of friends and family that believe different things that I do. I know this. And yet, I can say with certainty that I have the best family and friends I could ever ask for. I have never fought with any of them; to the contrary, the best times of my life are spent with them and I love them all very much. I would do anything for them. I just wish the culture could be the same way and I believe that it could be. If I vote no on a ballot and you vote yes, why take it so personal? It doesn't mean I hate you. It means I think something else. Tolerance today seems to mean that I need to change to fit your worldview. I disagree. I think it means that we can all be civilized and get along in spite of the fact that we disagree. Disagreement does not equal hatred. You can genuinely love someone even if you don't believe the same things they do. If I or anyone presents a different opinion on something or vote against something, call it dogmatic, call it bigotry, call it intolerance. I'm call it living according to what you know to be true.

Held Out With Open Hands

Lately I think God has been trying to show me something and today I think I've made the realization. It's been causing me to do some thinking and this is all that is: my thoughts right now.

The other day, my laptop completely died. It wouldn't turn on at all. I still don't know what's wrong with it, how much it will cost to fix it, if I still have all my memory or not or even if it's fixable at all. In God's providence though, it broke at the perfect time: right after I had used to to finish and turn in all the work that was due that day. That same day, due to my own stupidity, I jammed the CD player in my car. I didn't realize there was already a disc inside when I went to insert another one and the whole thing jammed up. It's since been fixed but at the time it was yet another thing that broke. Just this morning I realized that I haven't seen my iPod since I last used it, which was yesterday while walking back to my car from the bus stop. I've looked everywhere: in my backpack, in my car, in my room and around the house. It's gone. It got to the point where I was looking in the same places again and again even though I knew it wasn't there. The only thing I can possibly think of is that I set it on the roof of my car while putting my stuff in it and forgot about it. I don't think that's what happened but it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is that it's nowhere to be found and I don't expect to see it again.

From a humorous point of view, one would probably wonder what else will break or go missing. At this rate, my phone will probably spontaneously explode any day now without warning. You might be thinking how I was able to use the word "humorous" in a post about having no computer and no iPod. Well, I don't think it's funny but it's definitely not the end of the world. In fact, I distinctly remember losing my iPod on the bus last year. Miraculously, it was returned to me, but that's not the point. I remember how I felt. It sucked! I was really kind of sad that I lost it and I was stressing about getting another one. This time feels different though.

Yeah, my laptop is broken. Yeah, I have no iPod now. It sucks. But it's ok. In fact, it hasn't really phased me all that much and there's a reason for that. They're just material things. Even more than that, they're luxuries. Conveniences. Right now, I can only listen to music that I have on CD, in my car and in my room. Is that anything to complain about? There are people in the world that don't have cars and have to live outside. Forget about music!

Material things don't define my happiness and I think God is trying to remind me of that. I need to remember to not try to hold on tight to all the stuff God has blessed me with, but rather hold it out with open hands, ready to lose it if I have to. Will my computer get fixed soon? Yes. Will I get another iPod again? Who knows when, but yes, probably. But as for right now, all that matters is my reaction. If this is a test, I hope I pass. I'm really no less happy than I was a few days ago and I'll you why. The things that are most valuable to me in this world are the people in my life that I love and that love me. You can't put a price tag on a loving family. Loyal friends will always be there for you when your stuff breaks and gets misplaced. Shealin means more to me than anything and everything in the world. That's something that meaningless possessions could never compete with. Losing these things the past few days hasn't been fun and I really do need my laptop fixed for school, but it's been more of a positive experience than a negative one. I think about it this way. How often do I entertain myself with music throughout the day when I could be praying and spending time with God? I could be thinking about important things regarding my faith and school instead of filling my mind with song lyrics to the point where I've memorized more songs than Bible verses. Maybe this is all God's way of drawing my attention to that fact. He'll do whatever it takes to get our attention when he needs to and in the grand scheme of things, this isn't all that bad. I can live without all my crap. I can't live without God and the ones I love. If I have that, I have everything I need.

June 2nd, 2010-Romans Chapter 3

The topic of faith once again comes up in chapter 3. The chapter starts off where chapter 2 left off, speaking about salvation being a matter of the heart and not about anything external. This theme is continued in the later verses, saying that the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law through faith in Jesus Christ. The law, however, still bears witness to it. All have sinned and fall short of God's glory and we are justified in grace as a free gift through Jesus Christ. We receive this gift in faith. What is the purpose of the law? We know that the purpose of the law isn't to justify, but rather condemn. We can't see our sin unless we have the law to condemn us and once it does, we understand the concept of grace and forgiveness. The law doesn't save us, it shows us our sin.

The end of chapter 3 starts with the statement that one is justified by faith apart from the works of the law. This doesn't mean that there will no works at all, however. It's saying that we aren't justified simply by obeying the law. There has to be a faith in Jesus Christ. The works of faith are implied in that. We saw earlier in the book that faith demands action. Those who truly have faith in Jesus will obey him and follow him. Those are not necessarily the works of the law but the works of faith in Jesus. It also says that God will justify both the Jew and the Gentile by faith. Finally, it addresses the law. Do we throw out the law entirely by our faith? No, but rather, we uphold the law with our faith. Once again, our faith will bring about our works of faith and hence our obedience of the law. 

June 1st, 2010-Romans Chapter 2

Romans chapter 2 speaks to God's perfect judgement of man and man's inability to judge others due to his own sin. Only God is perfect and able to judge the hearts of men. It says that on the final day God will judge each man according to his works. Those that are patient in seeking for honor, glory and immortality will receive eternal life and those that are self-centered and obey evil instead of the truth will receive the wrath of God. It also makes the note that every evil human being, Jew or Gentile, will receive wrath and every person who does good, Jew or Gentile, will be blessed. This emphasizes that God is not partial to a certain chosen people any longer. Everyone is on a level playing field. Chapter 1 established that everyone has the knowledge of God. Each person is responsible for his accountability to the Lord.

The chapter goes on to talk about the law and man's responsibility under the law. It isn't the hearers of the law that are made right before God, but the doers of the law. Basically speaking, talk is cheap. Our obedience to the Lord is what matters to him. This passage also says that the law is written on the heart of everyone. Even those that don't have the law are a law to themselves when they work out by nature what the law requires. Man knows by nature not to kill other people, not to take what doesn't belong to him, ect. The passage finishes by recapping the concept: the law is written on the heart of man. This could also be called a man's conscience.

The final part of chapter 2 talks about hypocrisy, specifically someone in the Jewish culture of the time who boasts about how much they know the law and teaches others about it, but doesn't obey the law himself. In that time, the chosen people of God, especially the Jewish religious leaders, were sitting on a high horse. They found their salvation in their adherence to and knowledge of the law of Moses. They were circumcised, they kept the Sabbath and they knew the law by heart. They put all their stock in that. But there was often much hypocrisy in teaching the people and following the law themselves. Not only that, but they focused too much on the external and the ritualistic. They didn't realize that salvation was a matter of the heart. This final passage of chapter 2 addresses this. It says that if an uncircumcised man keeps the law, he is regarded as circumcised and vice versa. In ancient Israel, circumcision was instituted by God as a physical indicator of his spiritually set-apart people. After the new covenant, it was still highly regarded by the Jewish community, but God says in chapter 2 that circumcision is no longer a matter of the external, but the internal: the heart. The chapter ends with verses 27 and 28 stating that "he who is physically uncircumcised but keeps the law will condemn you who have the written code and circumcision but break the law. For no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical. But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God."

This concept shook up the religious community at the time. My lessons to be learned from this chapter are that I need to live consistent with what I know to be true because at the end of my life, God will judge me based on the way I live. The Bible says that if you know the right thing to do and do not do it, it is sin. I have the Bible, God's revealed word, to show me how to live. My job is to follow through and do it. Easier said than done, but the Lord promises to be there every step of the way.

May 31st, 2010-Romans Chapter 1

In starting up my devotions regularly again, I decided to start with one of my favorite books, containing also some of my favorite verses: the book of Romans.

Chapter 1 is chock-full of important content. The book starts off with a greeting of the apostle Paul. It is emphasized in his greeting that he was set apart to spread the gospel of God in the name of our Lord, Christ Jesus, and through Christ Jesus we have received not only the commission to spread the gospel, each one of us, but also grace. Paul then expresses his longing to go to Rome, for the purposes of preaching the gospel, imparting spiritual gifts to the faithful and in order to reap some harvest from them as well. Something in this section struck me. I think the fact that Paul realized that he had something to gain from them as well speaks volumes to the importance of Christian fellowship. We just got done being reminded that Paul is an apostle; one of twelve men appointed by God to spread his message to the world. In essence, Paul is a giant of the faith. But here we see that even he has something to gain from having fellowship in Rome. This passage is a great reminder to me that the fellowship and building up of believers is so important because without that fellowship, it's easy to wander off the path and go astray. We need that encouragement and accountability so badly. 

The next passage of chapter 1 speaks to the importance of the gospel and also the importance of faith. Romans 1:16-17 is a well-known passage that proclaims the gospel as the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes and that in it, the righteousness of God is revealed. It also says that the gospel starts and ends with faith and that the righteous live by faith. This concept of faith keeps coming up; earlier in verse 5 it talks about bringing about "the obedience of faith". Faith really is what the Christian life is all about; we really do live by faith. Every day we have an opportunity to go against what makes sense to the world and follow the Lord. That takes faith. We see the Bible equates faith with obedience and that is so true. If I'm not following God, do I really have faith in him? How could I? Why would I disobey someone I don't trust? If I really have faith in God, wouldn't I follow him without hesitation? Our faith in God demands action; faith is not some abstract, magical, foolish thing as the world makes it out to be. In theory, you can see it before your eyes. 

The final section in Romans is pretty harsh but vitally necessary. It talks about God's wrath on sin. The gospel has two main parts: you're a sinner (addressing sin) but there's a way out (God's way of redemption). I notice that in verse 16 Paul covered briefly one of the parts, proclaiming the gospel as the way of salvation for those who believe. Now, for the rest of the chapter, Paul shows us the evil nature of humanity and how a holy God must have nothing to do with it. It says God's wrath is revealed to all the sin of man and that man suppresses the truth of God. And as if to answer to anyone that would say we don't know the truth, Paul writes that God has revealed himself to all men. His attributes and nature have been clearly seen in what has been made and that no man has an excuse. It goes on to write how man, even with this knowledge, pushes God away and follows their own path of idolatry and sin. Starting from verse 24, it speaks of how God has given such people up to their sin. That is a scary thought and at first I didn't know what to make of it. Even Christians fall into spells of disobedience but as he promises God delivers them from their sin. I think that the people talked about here are those that know the truth of God and his plan of salvation but reject it to stay in sin and that they are the ones that God has not called to himself before the foundations of the world. In any case, jumping to verse 28, these final verses of chapter 1 serve as a reverse role model of sorts, showing me what my life should not look like. It lists the sins of those who reject God, with a debased mind: unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice, envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness, gossip, slander, hating God, insolence, haughtiness, boasting, inventing evil, disobeying parents, foolishness, faithlessness, heartlessness and ruthlessness. The book finishes by reemphasizing that although "they know God's decree that those that practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them".

This passage really hit me hard because I can think back to times and see my life in this position: knowing the right thing to do and instead, walking the other way. For me the main thing to take away from this passage is that sin is serious. It's a big deal. I know that at times I've used the promise of God's forgiveness to justify indulging in sin. That's wrong and Romans chapter 6 addressed that very thing. The difference of course is the heart. Although sin continues to plague our lives, it is our adversary, not our friend. We sin from time to time but we cannot practice sin, and if we are there's a big problem. When I pray I not only ask God to help me love him more but to also help me to hate sin more. I want nothing of that old life and I thank God for that desire. Looking back on Romans chapter 1 I see how heavy it is with the gospel message. It really explores the depravity of man's condition and the consequences of that but not without mention of God's free salvation for everyone that believes. 

What is love?

What is love? What does it mean? How do you do it? Is it open to interpretation?

All age old questions that no one knows the answers to. No one in the world knows what love is. Only one person does and He is teaching us.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

That sounds like no feeling I’ve ever felt. We equate love with that feeling you get when you see her walk by and when he says hello to you. It’s a broken equation. The love that Christ proclaims takes so much work. And don’t think I’m on some kind of soapbox. I’m the first one on the sign-up sheet. I’d be lying to you and myself if I claimed I had a clue how to love like this. But gosh, do I want to.

I enjoy a pretty face and long walks and holding hands just as much as any other guy but how many of us are looking for something beyond that? What happens when all the butterflies are set free? What happens when life throws you a curve? What happens when life gets serious? Are we just seeking out a lot of feel-good times that fade away or are we seeking a future, something lasting? What does it really mean to love someone else? How much do we love her without makeup, when her hair isn’t just perfect, when she first rolls out of bed? In turmoil? In struggle? What if you’re not the one? Do you love her enough to let her go? How many of us are in it for the long haul? Is there a future in sight?

I swear, it can’t be about feelings. It’s just not true. They sweep us off our feet like a rushing river but we always end up washed up on the bank gasping for air. In twenty years’ time all of a sudden you find that you aren’t as hot as you used to be, you have kids, and you’re settled down. What difference did all those feelings make? Sure, enjoy them, but live for them? Are they the end in itself? How could they be? After they’re gone, what remains? Something lasting? Does true love fade with the color of hair and the tone of skin? Does it shrivel up with our faces or does it remain in our hearts?

I’m looking for something more than what this world has to offer. I want something of meaning, to live for someone else than just myself. How much meaning does a life lived for yourself contain anyway? Jesus Christ, help me to step up to the plate right now while I’m still young and be the man you want me to be.

Shaken and Stirred Up

Matthew 7:21-23

"Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"

Someone I know posted a blog post about this verse tonight and reading it impacted me. If anyone is interested, that post can be found here. I felt something shaken and stirred up inside me, as if something was calling me to action. I believe it was the Holy Spirit. This post isn't going to be long, and it's not intended to be weird, but I just felt something. I meditated on this verse and looked at my life and realized that my "Christianity" isn't even close to good enough. It's something I've always known but had seldom realized. Tonight, God hit me with this verse like a pile of bricks, so much so that all I could do was put my face to my bedroom floor and cry out to God to take my life and use it because I don't have the strength to give it away. But I want to. I want God to take it from me and use it for Him. I don't want to live a mediocre life. I want to bring my relationship with Jesus to the next level. I want to love righteousness and my Master, Jesus Christ, and hate sin and my adversary, Satan, even moreso than I do now. 

I guess I'm sick of saying "Good enough". I want change. I want my faith to be shaken and stirred up.

The Unfaithful Bride

My love, how can you look at me? An unfaithful bride I’ve been to thee
I swore to love you and always stay, but when you’ve pulled, I’ve pushed away

My spirit is willing your way to seek, but my flesh is poisoned and weak

With my mouth I give you praise, but with my hands I disobey

My heart is wicked and full of dirt; my mouth is vile and prone to curse

My feet are swift to take revenge and my hands are twitching to avenge

In selfishness I live my day; not often enough do I pray

I’m often selfish, rude, and snide. I don’t thank you when you provide

Whenever I don’t get my way, I shake my fist and disobey

When trial comes I doubt your plan; I’d rather face it myself instead

My mind is overrun with greed and in me vanity sows its seed

I spread gossip, trash, and lies. Other’s feelings I despise.

I love the world and look like it too; they cannot see a trace of you

At the altar we shared a kiss, but all my vows have gone amiss

You’ve always kept me from attack, but I’ve plunged a knife into your back

I nailed you on a cross to die; my wickedness is all to blame

And as you hung there in the sky, I hung my head in piercing shame

I’ve done nothing to deserve your love; more like your wrath from up above

To take this ring off from my hand and toss away into the sand

To let the ocean swallow whole, just like the sin that plagues my soul

I feel it still inside my spine, a weed that wraps its twisting vines

Around my heart and does its best to never offer my spirit rest

And strives to choke out any sign of any righteousness divine

It is you that my heart longs to love, but in temptation I just give up

And tunnel deep into the ground so that my sin may not be found

Among the maggots and the filth, all my sinfulness and guilt

Is all I feel when I’m away and cheating on you with the grave

But somehow this is not the end; my loving husband, you descend

Down to me, your cheating bride. Regardless, you rush to my side

You pull me up from off the ground and slay the demons all around

But I fall again at your feet, and beg my husband his bride to keep

I whimper for the thousandth time to pardon me for all my crimes

Then you leaned down and held me close and witnessed my sincere remorse

You traded all my filthy rags for a pure white gown of grace

You kissed my cheek and calmed my fear and whispered softly in my ear

That I’m forgiven yet again, and I feel your love come pouring in

A third time I fell at His feet and thanked Him desperately

For his immense amazing grace that saved a wretch like me

I had His word that whenever I came begging at His feet

He’d pick me up and sanctify me, and complete His work in me

He promised me that He’d be there until the end of time

And no matter how far that I strayed, He’d be forever mine

Jesus loves us; this we know. His holy Word has told us so

On a cross our Savior bled; His precious blood has paid our debt

He descended to the depths of Hell and laid waste to the gates

He kicked in all the prison doors to save the human race

As he reached down to pick us up we tried to bite his hand

But Christ’s love overpowered us; He had another plan

He carried us out of that place in front of Satan’s face

And all that he could do was watch as Christ walked out the gate

Through Him we know the Father’s love; in Him we are complete

Free from sin and death we now can worship at His feet

Yet sin still wages its cruel war against our frail souls

But in Christ’s strength our fight is won and we are not alone

Not continuing in rebellion that His grace might abound

But fighting the good fight of faith, pressing on toward the crown

And when we draw this fleeting breath our mortal lives will cease

And we will fly up to the Bridegroom and His wedding feast

Free from sin and free from death, free to live with Christ.

Our loving Savior paid it all to save His precious Bride.

Ambition

This week has been really hectic for me. Just finished up an exam today, with another exam tomorrow and another one next Monday. Homework doesn't care how many exams you have either, and sure have that too. But as busy as I've been, I've really been liking school. I'm not sure what my point is with this but I was just thinking about what God wants me to do in life and how what I'm pursuing right now lines up with that. Also, I know that a lot of kids are in the same position I am tonight: stressed, discouraged, and possibly ready to quit. Read on.

I believe the best that I could possibly do in life is to conform daily to Christ's image and share Him with the world, work hard as unto the Lord and avoid being lazy, and be a good husband and father. I'm only 19 and nowhere close to having a family, so as for right now, my studies are my full-time job. I believe that it is my Godly responsibility to work hard in life and make something out of myself, to bring further glory to my King. I am very thankful to Christ for all the opportunities and gifts He's given me. I may be busy but I can understand higher-level math and actually enjoy some of it. It seems like just yesterday I was in high school, not knowing what my passions were, and now here I am at a university studying physics, mechanics, and high-level math. Only in Christ's power could I do this. Additionally, I have a huge passion for music and if I had it my way, I would spend a good portion of every day playing piano because I'm terribly addicted to playing it. I think that I'll end up buying a piano before a TV when I move out. Where am I going with this? Kids, find what God has made you passionate about and run with it.

I am passionate about many things, but in the end I had to settle on something. Airplanes seems like a random thing, but a lot of factors went into picking my major. I want to have a hand in building the next generation of military aircraft that will keep our nation safe from attack. There is something breathtaking about hundreds of thousands of pounds of steel arcing through the air at incredible speed. Fighters are a marvel of engineering; elegant, yet deadly. It takes a lot of work to get through the aeronautical program and only a handful each year graduate. It takes a lot of long hours in the library, a lot of prayer, and a lot of ambition.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm bragging about being smart or having a lot of drive. Everything you're reading is the truth but that doesn't meant that I'm the smartest or the most determined. I'm nowhere near the smartest kid in the program and there have been many nights where I've questioned if I'm cut out for this. I'm not a straight-A student like I was in high school, but I've realized that in this major, that is extremely rare. If you can get an A in Physics II or Calc III, that is really an achievement. What I'm getting at is this: there have been many days where I've felt like I'm not good enough, and I've felt like giving up. Kids, don't. If you have your eyes set on a goal, chase it. If God has set something on your heart, see where it leads.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

Determination separates those who succeed from those who don't. The next time you feel discouraged about school, work, or anything else, cry out to God and press on towards the goal. One thing that college has taught me is to rely on God in everything, even things we don't think He'd care about, like school. The fact is, He does care. Cry out to Him.

Don't give up.